Hardcore Fair-weather Fan. Mmmmm…does such a curios creature exists? Sure they do, they are known by their scientific classification and nomenclature LAsF - Los Angelesia Sportazoa Fanalia (commonly known as the Los Angeles Sports Fan) and can be found in and around the Los Angeles Basin area. There are high concentrations around the Los Angeles Downtown area around the Staples Center in the mid Spring Months of April thru June and around Dodgers Stadium in the latter months of the Summer.
I have however noticed a mutation of the Los Angelesia Sportazoa Fanalia and for some curious reason this mutation only occurs once you cross large bodies of water like the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans. This breed of the Los Angeles Sports Fan seems to be more “Hardcore” than your typical common strain. In fact, it seems to be so potent that it even affects those immune to the Sports Culture of the West Coast. Inhabitants of the East Coast , Pacific Northwest, and the Southern section of the US seem to concede to this beast.
This new more powerful creature is immune to slow internet access, warm beer, communist propaganda and even pixilated satellite viewing!!No matter the obstacle, these beasts find themselves wandering malls, bars and restaurants in the early hours of the morning searching for sustenance and satiation by simply catching the 4th quarter of the NBA finals or a glimpse of a two day old game. It’s a hungry creature that is starved for sports entertainment of which it has never craved nor feasted on in the past.
It’s even gone as far as to watch soccer…..Arrgghh…the Horror!!!
Lakers finally win….87-81
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