Do you really have to YELL?

Nico, our poor Chinese language teacher is always getting bombarded by knuckle head questions from us Lao Wais (foreigners). Especially now that our rag tag group has instituted beer drinking during class time. This week the question was why the hell do Chinese people speak so load especially on their cell phones. I mean literally it’s like they are always yelling into the phone.

Then there are the business meetings. Here the “yelling” in monologue is ridiculous. Unlike most “discussions” and brainstorming sessions that I have participated in, the Chinese business meeting usually consists of one person on a nonsensical rant going though all the emotion and inflictions as if in a heated discussion, except that no one else in participating in the conversation (unless they are on their cell phone taking to someone else -no joke). These sessions go on for hours at a time with so many contractions from one monologue to the next until finally the main guy, usually the CEO, has his chance to pontificate. In the end, everything that was said by the others means nothing. Only the CEOs word matters.

As a designer you can’t question or disagree with any of the convoluted rants even if they are riddled with contradictions. This way no one loses “face” (this is definitely another topic because I just don’t get it). All we can do is simply compile all that was said and decipher as best you can and come up with something that is close to what the last guy said.

Anyway, I totally digressed and just lived a “moment” that happened a few days ago. Back to the cell phone thing. Nico’s explanation is that the Chinese (especially the older generation) were used to using such bad quality telephones that they always had to yell. Good Explanation but I don’t buy it. The reason I don’t buy it is because not only are all the kids frickin’ yelling into their phones but everyone old and young has their ring tone put on the highest volume setting. It’s fucking annoying!

Personally I think it’s an amalgam of things all which seem very contradictory. First I think it’s the “Look at me” syndrome. Look how important I am, I’m on the cell phone…yippee! I really believe that the Chinese view cell phone like Los Angelinos view their cars. It’s an extension of who they are. A manifestation of their personality and some sort of convoluted self perception.

Then I think there’s this self entitlement that stems from the Cultural Revolution and one of its resultants: the one child policy. The one child policy is very evident as social policy that backfired. In fact, the local Chinese themselves admit that this is a major problem. Most feel that they are raising a generation of spoiled uber-brats!

The one child policy might just be China’s Achilles heel. I mean, when a 30 old man still lives with his parents and refuses to drink milk unless his mother opens the carton and pours it in a glass for him (true story BTW) you know that there is a serious problem here. This same 30 year old man has asked his parents to come out of retirement so they can help him buy a house. I mean’s it’s ridiculous but it seems like the norm here.

From a socio-economic perspective, there’s this issue of having an overpopulation of men and not enough women. There are so many intrinsic issues here that I’ll have to address this when I’m not writing about cell phones. The one child policy has also created a reverse bell curve of not having the population to generate the man labor and the tax base to support an aging yet rapidly growing country.

I know I went so many directions in this blog (ala “attention deficit” Vic) but it all comes back to that individual that is literally screaming into the phone or being so self absorbed in a business meeting. Personally every time I hear a LOUD cell phone ring or someone opens their mouth, I see it as a cry for self definition in a place where no one perceives themselves as an individual. Its either that or it’s a population of frustrated undersexed spoiled brats trying to reign in the fastest growing economy in the world? I see Big Trouble in Little China…..