The Jinx and the Can

The following is some funny ass shit! There have been some significant changes in our professional lives the last few weeks in Shanghai and so I had written a ‘”Our Next Steps” email to my family and to a couple of friends that were asking us when we were returning to LA. The note was a serious letter that was optimistic yet somewhat somber. I provided a synopsis of our thoughts of our future including all our contingency plans:

This is the response I got back fron the Jinx and the Can:


I concur with stevo regarding:
"we really can’t vet this out unless we get a chance to sit down at a bar and have a few before discussing non-sensically for a few hours… "

But as you can see from the livid iratenessness tone of Stevo's e-mail that Steve has not fully completed his 12-step anger management classes. He has not been the same since you guys left. You’re not the cause, but maybe the proverbial catalyst to his self-destruction and rage.
Stevo’s call for help in his e-mail may have not been obvious to you due to the NOx and SOx and SARS and Swine infested air you breathe, so I will attempt to break down Stevo’s contemptuous libel about L.A. and construct a comparative analysis of the libel to Stevo’s own self-deprecating loathing hate:

"Not to be a downer"
(right off the bat Stevo brings his alcohol, depression and drug addiction into your wonder plans).

"but some anecdotal food for thought on why LA is going down the tubes"
(He conveniently uses LA and food in the same sentence subconsciously knowing of your constant yearning for some Angus tube steak complimented with a port wine reduction sauce-native only to LA).

"not to say we don’t want you back."
(“Or do we?” Another convenient double entendre)

"Our backyard is burning down (Angeles Forest)"
(“OUR?”…don’t get me involved with your pyrohateism we all know those trees were too old and we need more homes up in them hills).

" income taxes just went up again"
(we all need to help our fellow citizens get the proper health care and new Hummers).

"sales tax went up a few months ago (up to 10% in parts of LA)"
(To pay the fire fighters OT and supplement my retirement…thanks)

"unemployment is near 12% (highest since great depression)"
(“88% of people have jobs...lowest since the great depression”. If you move on quick enough, no one will catch it).

"normal peeps can’t afford any decent homes here,"
(Either he is a racist or elitist…Shaquisha Brown just bought a home at 2342 E. 103rd St.)

"Wahoo’s Wed are on hiatus"
(but Fernie and Mario love Hooter’s Tuesdays and BJ Thursdays

"and the Dog is sending nakd pix to Nathan’s cell"
(This is true. The dog’s got toilet management issues)