The Terminator’s Wife

I had so many misconceptions about China and what our life was going to be like before we moved here. In my mind’s eye I saw myself in a polluted overcrowded city where everyone was wearing the same grey outfit with a matching cap with that little red Communist star and that I would be hauled around in a Rickshaw and eating dumplings and noodles until I got sick of it all. Okay…Okay…there’s some of that here, namely the pollution and the overcrowding, but on the rest, well, I was totally off base....I mean waaayyy off base!

On its surface, Shanghai is one of the glitziest, materialistic, Uber-Capitalistic cities I’ve ever been too. I mean, when you can sit on the balcony of a bar called Bar Rouge drinking champagne chilling in an ice bucket filled with sparklers ablaze while watching revelers from all over the world party while TV advertisements play on the side of a 50 story building across the river…. you have to think to yourself, "you ain’t in Kansas anymore kiddo…."

We lived at the Ritz Carlton Hotel Shanghai when we first moved to China. It was rad! Because we lived at the hotel and because October and November was the high season for all the “high end” social events, we got invited to Fashions shows, movie premiers, launch parties and the sort. Our social life was kicked into high gear. I mean it made the New York and LA social scenes look like Maw and Paw’s backyard BBQ! For a short while here, life here was a bit decadent and over the top.

In the three months that we lived at the hotel I had the opportunity to have drinks with CEOs of large corporations, hang with basketball stars (okay maybe the b-ball players themselves but the scorekeepers and the guys that shoot the T-shirts from that air canon…hey, you take what you can get) and meet a few celebrities. I saw more celebs in the first three months here than I ever did in over 20 years living in LA. One of my favorite incidents (....here is where I begin to name drop…more than bumping into Vanessa Williams and Roger Federer or arguing over a cab with Colin Farrell or riding the elevator with Lebron James, Turkalou and a few other NBA stars) was working out with the Terminator’s wife. Yup, that’s what I said, the terminator’s wife. The “I’ll be back” dude’s main squeeze.

When the Special Olympics was in Shanghai, Maria Shriver and the rest of the Kennedy clan stayed at the hotel and every morning for a week I would run into her at the gym. I would hop onto the bike next to here and begin my workout. After that I would go over to the free weights section next to where so would do her stretches. I must say for a lady of her age she still looks damn good.

One morning I walked in the gym and began my same old routine. Mrs. Terminator walks in and hops on a bike two bikes away from me. About 10 minutes into my work out (I’m on the up cycle of my Hill workout so my head is down and I’m focused) I catch a hulking figure hop onto a bike next to me. I look over my shoulder and it’s the Termi….errr…I mean the Governator! I think to myself, this is way cool. Here I am 6000 miles away from frickin’ Sacramento (or Brentwood for that matter) and Arnold is working out next to me. Then I look again, and I think…mmmm…he’s not that big. I can take him. (Just kidding). Actually I just said “Hi Governor” which I think surprised him because on everyone thinks I’m Chinese and is surprised when I speak English and number two, wondered how the hell I knew he was Governor. When I explained that I was actually from California he smiled, we exchanged a nice few words and we both went about our workouts.

BTW, I still think I can take him………….